A Tale Of Two Churches
Nightmares In Churchland
Wanna hear the single most counterintuitive, borderline-absurd, makes-you-question-the-laws-of-the-universe truth about traveling ministry?
The money-to-problems ratio is inverted—almost every single time.
Biggie said Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems. In this world? The smaller the offer, the greater the drama.
And here’s why that makes exactly zero sense:
Big churches have a million moving parts. They have staff, production teams, probably a guy whose entire job is just making sure the coffee bar has oat milk. Plus, since they’re paying you crazy money, they’d be within their rights to be high-maintenance. They could demand rehearsals, pre-event vision casting, a 12-week devotional series on the theme of the conference.
But do they?
Nope. Never.
In fact, the bigger the church, the chiller they are.
They do not care what you preach. They assume you don’t suck. That’s why they invited you. They expect the juice. They don’t need a proof-of-concept call to make sure you have something insightful to say.
Now, small churches?
Oh, buddy.
They want to Zoom. They want to talk through everything. They need pre-session meetings and post-session debriefs. They need your notes a year in advance. They need you to arrive early and mic check an hour before service, stay late, and sit in the pastor’s living room and explain the Virgin Birth.
Big churches?
“Just show up five minutes before you walk on stage.”
Small churches call micromanaging all your time “preparation” or ‘being relational.’ Big churches give you a suite, silence, and a recovery window to shake off the red-eye flight.
And here’s the real kicker:
You leave small churches exhausted, stressed, and broke. Many times I have to rebook a hotel because the Bates Motel was terrifying, or pay for other random incidentals.
MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE.
And that, my friends, is why it’s increasingly difficult for me to say yes to small churches. I’m tired of being buried under the weight of their unmet expectations and then watching them get offended when I fail to intuit the psychic contract they never verbalized.
I’ll still say yes. It’s just bewildering how strange this phenomenon continues to be. I embrace it—the Lord has called me to it. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t strange or that we can’t grow together in our collective awareness of the dysfunction.
Here Is A Recent Tale of Two Churches:
