Please Don’t Ruin Mothers Day By Doing This
Equality, False Compassion, And General Contempt
I’m giving you both barrels today. No holds barred. This is Nathan-on-a-tear, rant-of-rants, let-me-let-a-little-air-out-of-the-tires-before-I-lose-my-mind madness.
Not all of you are here for it—and that’s fine. But some of you are exactly here for it. So let’s go.
Let’s talk about something that drives me up the wall every year:
Churches that insist on honoring all women on Mother’s Day.
Not just moms. Not just women who have actually had or adopted kids. No—every woman gets the flowers, the chocolate, and the big “we see you, girl” energy.
This is right up there with churches honoring single moms on Father’s Day. Same vibe. Same insecurity-fueled sentimentality masquerading as empathy.
You know what I’m talking about:
Every church this Sunday is gonna have baskets of roses or mini packs of Ghirardelli ready for the moms. But then—in the churches run by self-proclaimed empaths—they’ll stretch the definition of “mother” until it’s basically meaningless. “Spiritual mothers,” “mothering hearts,” “women who’ve poured into the next generation in any way,” etc.
Translation: if you’ve ever babysat or made a casserole for your neighbor’s kid, you too are a mother now. Congrats.
And I get it. I know the move. It’s about sensitivity.
You don’t want women who never married or never had children to feel excluded. You don’t want to remind anyone of what they don’t have.
So you flatten the meaning of the day to avoid any discomfort in the room.
And you do the same thing on Father’s Day. You have the single moms stand up. You give them a little nod. “We see you. You’ve had to play both roles.” Cue the applause. Cue the awkward side-eyes from actual dads who just got reduced to a generic role anyone can play if they try hard enough.
And listen—I get what some of you are already thinking:
“Nate, come on. What’s the big deal? Why not make the table a little bigger? Why not honor everyone?”
And here’s my answer:
It’s a litany of well-meaning dishonesties.
Here’s my Five Beefs—why this is a problem—and why it’s worth considering what you are communicating if you do this stuff:
