Why They’re Wrong About Green Rooms
And How Absolutely Nobody Is Hiding From People
The laziest, saddest, most intellectually malnourished critique currently making the rounds in pastoral echo chambers—one might even say spreading like ecclesial mildew—is the now-standard-issue Green Room Hate.
“Get out of the Green Room and go meet somebody.”
“Walk slowly through the crowd.”
“Pastors need to stop hiding in Green Rooms.”
“We don’t do Green Room culture at our church.”
Yes, yes—enjoy the low-hanging fruit. It’s juicy, it’s convenient, it makes you look humble in a tweet. But any human being who’s spent more than five minutes actually working in churches understands a few realities that are quietly at play here.
Namely: not every church leader has the same gift. And—brace for it—that’s actually what makes the Body of Christ a body and not a brand. Most of this anti–green room rhetoric doesn’t even come from the congregation; it comes from pastor-shepherd types—people-oriented ministers who quietly believe (and loudly insinuate) that every other leader should look, feel, and move like they do. These are often the same guys whose sermons are... let’s say, not their spiritual weapon of choice. And then the theology-heavy dudes fire back at the pastor-shepherds, accusing them of trafficking in sentimentality and barely-there doctrine.
It’s basically Spurgeon vs. Wesley, rebooted for Twitter. Wesley, the spiritual crossfitter, preached against tobacco. Spurgeon, the cigar-savoring Calvinist, went hard against alcohol (at least in his later years). Meanwhile, Wesley was rumored to have the finest wine cellar in all of England, and Spurgeon? Absolutely unapologetic about his fat stogies. So yes, it’s been messy from the jump.
Personally? I’ve stood outside Green Rooms, served inside them, been served in them, and honestly—when used properly—I’ve deeply appreciated the multi-functional, surprisingly sacred utility of the Green Room.
And here’s why I believe churches not only desperately need Green Rooms, but every thinking pastor ought to make more use of them:
